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| So there's this guy that I've been seeing for about a year now. He's a year older, so when we started seeing each other, I was a junior and he was a senior, and this year, he was a freshman at college while I was finishing out high school.
Something you should know about this guy before hand - he has a reputation of being a partying womanizing asshole who hooks up with girls once and leaves them, which is the reason why all of my friends hate him and don't trust him.
Anyways, we started seeing each other at the end of his senior year. We were just really cute with each other, and we gave our virginities to each other. But at the end of that summer, he started pulling away from me and acting kind of cold, which i attributed to him leaving for college. Even though I was falling for him, I let it go because I did not think that I would ever see him again, and I needed to just get over him.
During the year (my senior, his freshman at college), he started talking to me again...texting, iming, calling, asking me to come over and party with him, asking me to be his date to his frat's valentine's dance. and when he came home for winter break, we got really close again...we didn't really see each other or hook up that much (i actually think that I only saw him once that break), but we talked almost every day, and he told me he loved me.
This was also around the time that I found out that he had been hooking up with another girl the summer before, the same time that he was hooking up with me. It was established that we were not exclusive by any means, but it still hurt and I let him know that. Instead of getting mad and reiterating that we weren't exclusive, like I expected him to, he apologized...like a lot.
Even before we started hooking up, I knew that he had this one issue with a girl who had cheated on him with multiple guys when he was at camp, and because of her, he told me that he would never be in an exclusive relationship again (he told me this before we were anything more than friends). So I knew going into the relationship that I would have to make it kind of purely physical.
This is where it gets muddy. I had issues with my date this year for my prom, which ended up in me being dateless and me not wanting to go to prom at all. The guy I've been talking about stepped in without me having to ask him and told me that he'd love to take me to my prom. That whole night, we danced, we talked, we kissed, we held hands, he told me he loved me, and he called me his girlfriend. Also, when I hang out with other guys, he gets jealous...are fwbs supposed to get jealous about that stuff?
Now even though this guy can be the sweetest person ever, he can be a complete prick also. A couple weeks ago, he told me that i'm "perfect for the short term but not the long term" because I'm not Jewish like he is. He doesn't say these things to hurt me...it's just the type of person that he is, but it still gets me thinking if maybe I'm misinterpreting everything.
This fall, I'm going to the same college as he is (I swear it was my dream school...I'm NOT going for him), and I feel like that's going to complicate matters. Am I always going to be wondering if he's hooking up with other girls? Do I have the right to get angry and jealous about it? As you can see, we're both way more emotionally involved than normal fwbs should be. On the one hand, I would like a relationship with him, partially because all of my friends and things like "he's just not that into you" all say that if he's not asking you out, he doesn't like you. On the other hand, I don't want to be tied down my freshman year of college, and as long as we BOTH have feelings for each other and it's not one-sided on my part, I can't really get hurt, right? Do you think this guy wants a relationship or am I reading the signs wrong?
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